It is amazing to me how loyalty goes out the window for some people when sex is involved. People don’t care about other people’s feelings people don’t care about how their actions may affect another person people truly are selfish. And to be quite honest I AM FED UP!
I met this guy maybe six months ago and in the beginning, everything was ok. We were in the getting to know each other phase so it’s not like this was the beginning of some phenomenal love story. Things were regular. I recognize that as adults nothing is perfect and sometimes life happens and slaps you in the face. You gotta put your big kid drawls on and get stuff done. So that is why I try not to judge somebody when people are in a bad situation and this guy was in a bad situation. He totaled his car so he didn’t have one , he was living back home because he was trying to get back on his feet but he did have a full-time job. So I whole heartedly believed in the beginning that it was just a rough patch. BOY WAS I WRONG!! This wasn’t a patch his life was just rough.
When I am dating and talking to guys I look for potential, I look for characteristics that would make a good husband, good provider, a good father. I look for strengths that align with my definition of a man and honestly I didn’t see that with him so I ended the dating part. I feel like you can be friends with somebody or strictly sexual without dating them especially if you weren’t emotionally invested. I knew I wasn’t emotionally invested..but he was emotionally invested and did not take the news very well that I just didn’t want to be his girlfriend. The same night he decides to send me five Snapchat of him and his baby mom together as if that was supposed to make me upset or get me and my feelings. And all seriousness I really didn’t care because I feel like any man who goes out of his way to make you feel jealous is not worth your time.
I honestly just didn’t believe that he would ever be able to take care of me on a mental, spiritual or emotional level. He couldn’t even take care of himself really. He also has four fucking kids. With four different women. And his childish snap chat fiasco just verified everything that I felt.
So months go by after us not talking because he didn’t want to accept my friendship and couldn’t handle being strictly physical. BUT MEN LOVE TO CREEP BACK DURING YOUR MOMENT OF WEAKNESS!!! or maybe I was just being a big ol’ HORNDOG and didn’t care!! or maybe I genuinely cared about this guy even if he wasn’t meant to be with me, I knew I was placed in his life and him in mine for a reason.
Since during our “dating” phase I did get to know him on a level that a lot of other people didn’t I did understand where a lot of his flaws came from. A lot of the things he was dealing with mentally I have suffered from myself so I had empathy for the situation and I knew this was why I was put in his life.
Months went by of us not talking and I can’t tell you what motivated him to hit me up but he did. Cool. I had no beef so I didn’t see what the problem was. We started texting again. Sending each other snaps. And this time I felt like he opened up more and told me more about himself. He had gotten a better job he moved out of his mom’s place he even quit drinking. And I was genuinely proud of him taking steps towards being a better person.
AND THEN FOURTH OF JULY WEEKEND HAPPENED……..
So this man hasn’t drank in seven weeks which is a really good thing and before we went to the cookout/party I told him that if he wasn’t going to drink that I would stay sober with him so he didn’t feel like he was alone. Alcoholism isn’t something that someone should deal with alone and being drunk really isn’t that deep for me. Instead of listening to what I said he insisted that he would be fine and he would only have a couple of drinks.
We linked up around 11 am and I met some of his friends. We will get to his FUCKING FRIENDS IN A SECOND. Since we were all going to the same party I guess they were linking up to go out together. By 5 o’clock he was already six beers in. I had some things I needed to do at 6 so I left the festivities for a bit. By the time I had came back to the party around 730 he was already trashed. LIKE TRASHED! Don’t get me wrong there’s absolutely nothing wrong with drinking and having a good time but when you know that you cannot contain your self or hold your liquor properly you shouldn’t drink period.
I typically handle drunk people pretty well when I’m sober but this was a whole other level of ignorant. I was trying to be social have conversations with people be a nice person be fun all that good stuff mid conversation with one of his friend’s girlfriends he decides to pull down the strap to my tank top and attempted to put his hand up my shirt.
LIKE BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?!?!?
To me that was some shit you do when you’re in high school and just had your first beer. So I told him to chill because I knew he was drunk and I was trying to keep my cool to not make the situation worse. Well, he didn’t like that so he told me to “fucking leave” and I did. But I didn’t leave the party I wanted to see the fireworks I still had a beer in my hand and two of his friends were super cool so I hung out with them for the rest of the night. In a drunken temper tantrum, I see him walking through the party looking for me but couldn’t find me. A lot of drunk text later we find him passed out drunk by a trash can.
A TRASHCAN A FUCKING TRASHCAN!!!!!
His friends wake him up, making fun of him as most friend would. But at this point, I’m so embarrassed especially with people constantly saying to me “get your man”. NOT MY MAN! Anyways yet again he gets pissed off but this time walks off telling nobody nothing.
Through all of this, his friends literally do not care at all. All they care about his having a good time themselves. Saying things like “he always gets like this”, ” he will find a way home”, ” I don’t know why you fuck with him, he ain’t shit anyway”, “you’re too good for him”. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU!!?!?! This man talks about y’all like he has the best friends in the world an y’all basically think he’s trash.
Now me being fed the fuck up with the entire night doesn’t justify me going to a bar with these same people. But 1. I drove everybody and 2. I needed a drink at this point. Yes, I was sober the whole time!
So we get to the bar and I go to grab something out my car and his friend feels like it was okay to smack my ass. LIKE LIL BIH I DONT FUCKING KNOW YOU !?! This same friend, we will call him Nigga Shit, had been staring at me all day and making little comments like ” if she wasn’t with you I woulda been took her.” I’m not food, What in the actual fuck? So I nipped that shit in the bud before we got inside, like don’t touch me.
So I’m at the bar with these guys and having a great time dancing my ass off because I love to dance and just having fun I guess Nigga Shit didn’t understand in the parking lot that I wasn’t interested. I tell him no because that is your friend that I used to talk to you and that is disrespectful, he didn’t like that. I find it funny that men will hang anybody out to dry to get some ass. And that’s exactly what his “friend” did he talked about how this guy doesn’t have his stuff together and how he’s no good and how I can do better. But that’s supposed to be your boy. All night I felt like I was being surrounded by a vulture, just swarming around my dead carcass and wouldn’t leave me be.
Then drunk ass calls me pissed that ” I left him”.I have Nigga Shit trying to put his tongue down my mouth like what is wrong with y’all. I just don’t understand how you can say things like relationships aren’t worth the trouble relationships are terrible there’s no point of getting this close to a person and then asking me if you can go home with me. So, in reality, you just want to have sex with me but you want to doctor up your words by saying things like I just want to hold you and rub your back and cuddle with you for what for fucking what. How can you be upset at me because I respect your friend regardless of the fuck shit that he did to me? And you should respect him to if that’s supposed to be your friend.
FUCK THAT WHOLE NIGHT!!! SERIOUSLY!!!
I have literally never felt so disrespected in my life on so many levels and I may have set myself up for some of this shit. Maybe I didn’t. Who Knows? I don’t want to be that bitter black woman that hates all men and says stuff like MEN AIN’T SHIT but really?!?!? like really??
I guess I can only go up from here.
PS. both of these men tried to hit me up the next day